Wanna get married or run away?

New blog: www.pyraangel.blogspot.com

Song playing in my head: Sunshine Anderson - Heard it all before
Mood: Extremely happy/excited/sad (if possible) :P

Wow wow wow. Where have you been? *collapse* Well. I had a most wonderful, spectacular, breath taking time with Mark. He arrived here Thursday night and left this morning. Man.. what an awesome time.. We got along right away. We went out on small yet romantic dates. Sorry.. I'm just so happy and excited. I was sad this morning when he had to leave. Just thinking about him coming back though is love(I can't do the heart symbol because it mistakes it for some HTML tag -_-). He was only suppose to stay till Sunday but he missed the flight, then got put on standby, there wasn't any room.. so he was gonna be at the airport all night. I texted him wishing him a good flight.. and he texted back that he was stuck there the night.. so we got him a hotel room for another night. I was kinda sad/happy.. because I didnt want him to leave.. but he has his job and stuff in Texas. We have so many plans though. I'm so excited. Sorry if my topics are randomly spread apart. I'm just in lala land. We went walking to parks and stuff.. just talking.. we went to a mall type thing and we had ice cream.. we were walking and laughing.. we ate out and in randomly. We did crazy stuff like try walking through the drive thrus at McDs and Burger King. It didn't work though. They detect metal.. so we walked to the window.. and I asked the guy if we could order food thru drive thru because it was late and the walk in was closed. Kinda flirtingly he said 'let me ask the manager'. She was mean. 'You can't do that.' Pfft. Moneys money lady. ._. Man.. it was just *happy sigh* so cool. Adventurous. :p He kept picking flowers off trees and bushes for me. He also got me this cute teddy bear and heart shaped container. He put a flower behind my ear... Ok ok. sorry. I'm just filled with happy thoughts. :P! I like romantic stuff.. and he is romantic.. under all the cop talk, etc. He wouldn't show me any moves. :( *pout* :P Love you, Mark. ^^ We even went to church on Sunday.. talked about random topics and our feelings on religion.. It was cool. :) I better get ready for work.. Till later.. :P

WHY THE HELL CAN'T I DO ANYTHING RIGHT?

Ugh. I upset Mark.. AGAIN. Good job Ally. What happened? Well I like certain songs and I say what I'm listening to on almost every blog. If I'm not listening to it, it's playing in my head. So I wrote a blog like.. a day ago. On the bottom of the blog I put the words "thank you :)". So he starts asking me what I meant and I said 'oh nothing' in a text to him. Then he started panicing I guess and said something along the lines of 'you have been listening to Eagles - I cant tell you why and Orleans - still the one. Am I about to get hurt?'. So I was fumbling with my cell trying to respond but it kept giving me this error msg so I canceled the current msg and started another saying I'd explain it later because the professor wont stop lecture just so I can type another long msg in my cell. Then Mark got upset and said something like 'I knew itdlf. I habr ti go hobne.' Which stands for: I knew it. I have to go home. I txt him back. 'WHAT? That's not what I meant! not at all!'. And I'm tuning out what I need to be listening to right now.. because I have no clue what's being said and I need to learn about floaters. I'm sorry Mark. I'm an asshole. I won't name songs that I'm listening to anymore. Sorry to make you worry. Forgive me please. SORRY. Ugh.. I need to know this shit.. *tries to catch up* -_-

Just hold on tight..

Song playing in my head: Eagles - I can't tell you why
Mood: Happy

Goodmorning. Yay. Today's programming class. ^^ I really need to read a few chapters this weekend when I get the chance. Not too much going on as of yet. Usually I'm more productive with words when blogging, but today I just feel kinda spacey. Mark flies in tomorrow and I'm looking foreward to it. Yay. Another short vacation before class and work can start kicking my ass again. *smiles* Hopefully this weekend is a fun one. I warned him though that in person I'm a little weirder. The reason being is that I don't know too much how to act around people. "Aren't you a customer service rep at work?" Yea.. but that doesn't mean I know how to act or what to talk about when around people who want to hang out. Remember: I'm kinda a loner. x,x So I hope I don't bore him or anything. And if that's the case, I'll make random remarks and hope for a smile or connection. x,x Isolation from people is (insert heart).

Hm.. thank you.. :)

Boring.. =/

Song playing in my head: Orleans - Still the one
Mood: Spiffy

Ugh. I am bored out of my mind. Yes, I'm sitting in my Webmasters Foundations class. Today we are building a web page about blue birds using the simple html provided. I'm so antsy. I feel like doing jumping jacks or something. My ass hurts. ;-; So out of boredum I created another blog. A more personal blog than this where I can vent all my feelings without anyone talking about anything they see on it. 2 days left till Mark comes. Not too sure how that's gonna go but I hope it goes well. It seems like fun. Work is ok. I'm busy putting together the new card system which hasn't come in yet, but getting rid of the old cards and old system IS part of getting ready and starting the new one. Customers are all happy that our cards are 33 cents atm. Well, about 80% of them are. Like I said.. a little bored atm. -.-' I talked to Mark this morning which started my day out great. I fell asleep last night after talking to him on the phone. My body was just too tired and I got really lazy. My mom is bugging me to make the family a web site. She wants me to make a site where my cousins can come on and chat/leave a msg on a msg board. The site would have to do with her plan to have a family reunion this Thanksgiving. Like I told her, I don't really have time. I'm still trying to get focused on doing my hw as it is. Um.. just can't wait to leave here.. um.. bored.. -.-; um.. so far the only cool thing today was making the new blog. Yes.. it is an evil blog. Such an evil blog that it has me sitting in a chair, stroking a cat that's sitting on my lap evily. mwhahaha. Till later..

Raindrops are falling on my head..

Song playing in my head: Kelly Clarkson - The trouble with love is
Mood: Supposibly content

*sits down* Thank you for the grand entrance. *eye roll* Right now I'm at a crossroads. Kinda crushed, kinda bruised, kinda broken. Actually, I lied. I'm more tired of this than any of the other things I named. It sucks when you just feel like walking away from everything. I really should stop going on IRC or maybe I should just stop dating. I didn't do any of my hw this weekend. Not because of the trip, but because I was busy on IRC when I had the chance to do something. Thankfully, the professor said it was due Wednesday and that we were gonna work on it some today. I was praying about the current issues I'm having on the way to class. After thinking about it, I saw it foolish to pray about such a thing. I felt kinda ashamed. Here I am wasting God's time about some stupid issues when I can handle them myself. So I said 'you know what? screw what I said. Just please help me focus on being a better Christian and doing well in my classes'. I really do think this is more neccessary. I mean how much of an asshole can I be? Here I am selfishly praying about some relationship issues when someone is dying or begging for The Lord's help on something 20 million times as worse as my problem.. yet I continue to hassle The Lord about my stupid human problems. I only hope He'll forgive me and use His work and love on someone who deserves it. So I decided that I'll stop praying about it. I haven't got much an answer anyway. I think He's leaving this one up to me. Ok. Gl. So anyway, Mark comes in 3 days. Am I happy about this? Of course. I hope it'll clear some things up. If it doesn't, there is obv something wrong with me and I'll just say screw it and screw the whole situation. I'm tired of this shit. I really need to focus on doing well in class and my Christian duties.. well, blah. I need to do some hw.. till later.. Oh.. and the trip was good. I think my grandma forgave me so I forgave her.. hehe. Can't wait for 3 days.. kinda.. ._.; Man, when I was rather foolish I could only dream of two guys fighting over me. It use to sound so great in my head.. but it's just making my heart cry. I will stop talking to Chris as much.. I cant promise completely.. but I will cut down a lot.. Er.. see I'm not a good g/f. Mark if you want me to completely stop talking with him.. just say so.. see.. that's my head and heart conflict. I say I take a gun to both(my head + heart) and let them bite the bullet. Pfft. I know nothing about any of this. Joel, you were right. I am a bad g/f. I don't know wtf I am doing, so yea. Renegade +10. All I can say is this issue is rather new to me.. but w/e. That's not a valid excuse. I just hope all who I hurt can forgive me. Pfft.. I better stop.. I've cried enough over men. I really have. It's time to cry some tears of joy..

Other News: Yay!! I just got done working on some C homework. This is so awesome. I made my first script! Yes, I am overexcited.. yes.. I am a geek. ._.' But I feel so accomplished. I had a few errors and figured them out by myself. :) This roxors. *loves programming* well.. I love it so far.. *falls over day dreaming, her eyes with hearts in them*. Ok.. that's overdoing it. >>; <<; *runs*

baby, come to meeeeee.

Song playing in my head: Four Seasons - Who loves you
Mood: happy

Yay. Today's Thursday and I'm feeling ready for that vacation. I think this will be a nice break from all stress factors: work, class, IRC issues. IRC issues? Are there such things? Sure there are. I'm a horrible g/f, you know that? I'm always the one who "has to be nice" and who "can never be mean or hurtful". Here I am saying these things and yet I continue to torchure 2 people whom I care about.. a lot. Yeah. Good job Alektra. *Eeent(buzze)* wrong. Man.. Mark has done nothing but be good to me.. and here I am actting like an asshole because of some feelings in the past. You know what? That's gonna change. Today I'm going to try and be a better person in general, but especially to him. Mark, if you're reading this, I'm sorry. And don't say I don't have to be. I'm really sorry. You've done nothing but be good to me, supporting me, loving me.. and here I am, some girl who won't let her past go. I wouldn't blame you if you dump me. I really don't deserve such a man. You're greater than I can ever imagine.. it's like somehow some lucky girl was meant to find you, but instead of heading down the right path, you bumped into some girl like me along the way. Some girl who can't touch near your excellance. Maybe your friends were right. Maybe I'm not meant for you and you should just go back the way you came and get back on the right path. Though when I offer you such an option, you say to me it'll be worth it, that no one makes you feel like I do, and that I fill the hole you've had in your heart so long. Thanks for such sweet comments, tho I don't deserve them. Mark.. please don't ask me what's "wrong with you". There isn't anything wrong with you Mark. You wonder why girls in the past cheated on you or dumped you. Want to know why? Because they couldn't handle such a wonderful man. They lost control and came crashing down. Don't ask yourself why you aren't good enough. Perhaps you're too good. Maybe some of are too blind to take that and use it right, treat you right.. I guess I am part of that. One of those who has no clue and will know what she's missing when she's lost you. You don't deserve to be torchured. This is my apology to you. From today on.. and however long we are dating, I'm going to treat you right. I'm sorry Mark.. I love you. Forgive me for being stupid. I always was. Just try to cheer up dear. If I can't cheer you up, I don't deserve you obv. Just take care sweetie.. try to have a nice day. :)

Other news: Just sitting in class.. I had fun talking to Chris last night. Though I went to sleep late, I got about 8 hours of sleep. Chris.. thanks for being such a good guy.. and my friend. You're sweet.. *hugs tightly* You're such a wonderful guy.. have a great day. <:)

Till later..

It will tear you up insideeeee. =o

Song playing in my head: Kelly Clarkson - The trouble with love is
Mood: Interesting x.x'

Side note: Fuck you >'s. I posted a long ass blog and a damn > messed it up so I have to retype.

Yay. Today is my first day of my programming 1 class. The text book I received is really thick. "How to Program: Introducing C++ and Java". m00t. So far the class is interesting. I'm not about to fall asleep like in Webmaster Foundations. I just hope that I can keep up. Homework may be a problem, but I'll try harder for this class. Coding and programming in general are love. ;)

Today we learned some interesting things. Google may be coming out with it's own OS. GooOS I think it would be called. Right now, I think there is too much competition in the field tho. Between MS, Mac, Linux, etc.. Google is trying to gain trust of people thru GMAIL. I fell in love with Apple's web browser, Safari. I am sad because I can't use it. It's so sexy looking though. ;-; Yes, I am a geek. Stfu. roflll.

Other news: Talked to Chris last night which helped cheer me up from a long ass, harsh day. We just talked about random stuff.. I thought it was so wonderful. He's really a great guy. And, NO.. I'm not saying anything... --' I'm probably gonna talk to Mark after class. I'm hungry. ;-;

Till later...