baby, come to meeeeee.

Song playing in my head: Four Seasons - Who loves you
Mood: happy

Yay. Today's Thursday and I'm feeling ready for that vacation. I think this will be a nice break from all stress factors: work, class, IRC issues. IRC issues? Are there such things? Sure there are. I'm a horrible g/f, you know that? I'm always the one who "has to be nice" and who "can never be mean or hurtful". Here I am saying these things and yet I continue to torchure 2 people whom I care about.. a lot. Yeah. Good job Alektra. *Eeent(buzze)* wrong. Man.. Mark has done nothing but be good to me.. and here I am actting like an asshole because of some feelings in the past. You know what? That's gonna change. Today I'm going to try and be a better person in general, but especially to him. Mark, if you're reading this, I'm sorry. And don't say I don't have to be. I'm really sorry. You've done nothing but be good to me, supporting me, loving me.. and here I am, some girl who won't let her past go. I wouldn't blame you if you dump me. I really don't deserve such a man. You're greater than I can ever imagine.. it's like somehow some lucky girl was meant to find you, but instead of heading down the right path, you bumped into some girl like me along the way. Some girl who can't touch near your excellance. Maybe your friends were right. Maybe I'm not meant for you and you should just go back the way you came and get back on the right path. Though when I offer you such an option, you say to me it'll be worth it, that no one makes you feel like I do, and that I fill the hole you've had in your heart so long. Thanks for such sweet comments, tho I don't deserve them. Mark.. please don't ask me what's "wrong with you". There isn't anything wrong with you Mark. You wonder why girls in the past cheated on you or dumped you. Want to know why? Because they couldn't handle such a wonderful man. They lost control and came crashing down. Don't ask yourself why you aren't good enough. Perhaps you're too good. Maybe some of are too blind to take that and use it right, treat you right.. I guess I am part of that. One of those who has no clue and will know what she's missing when she's lost you. You don't deserve to be torchured. This is my apology to you. From today on.. and however long we are dating, I'm going to treat you right. I'm sorry Mark.. I love you. Forgive me for being stupid. I always was. Just try to cheer up dear. If I can't cheer you up, I don't deserve you obv. Just take care sweetie.. try to have a nice day. :)

Other news: Just sitting in class.. I had fun talking to Chris last night. Though I went to sleep late, I got about 8 hours of sleep. Chris.. thanks for being such a good guy.. and my friend. You're sweet.. *hugs tightly* You're such a wonderful guy.. have a great day. <:)

Till later..